


Automata: Don't Love Me

by silverdoll14



Category: Arashi (Band), DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ, JYJ (Band), Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-21
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-25 01:15:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3791158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverdoll14/pseuds/silverdoll14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"How can two people love each other when only one of them is entitled to exist to love and be loved?"</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> X-posted at silverdoll14.livejournal.com
> 
> This is the edited version although edits and beta are made by me so you might still see some mistakes I may have overlook. The first seven chapters are already posted in my livejournal but you'll find the edited chapters here soon enough.
> 
> That's all for now. Hope you enjoyed this.

_“Don’t love me_  
Because I am lost  
Because I changed the world,  
Because its destiny  
because it can't be, we both are like a mirror  
and you would be my own reflection

Don't love me  
You would be dying  
within a war full of regrets.  
Don’t love me   
To be on the ground,   
I want to take off (fly away)  
This love deserves to soar through the sky  
I don’t know what to say  
It’s the truth…”

**-No Me Ames (J.Lo ft. Mark Anthony)**

  
  
**_It is like rain drops that pour from the sky, it lands and flows.  No path, no direction, it’s just an unknown force that are attracted to one another. And when it is gathered as one, it blooms just like a flower. It can be blue, sad and lonely. It can have the color of red like a heart full of anger or it could be just white, like it is just there out of nowhere. But what if like the rain it can only appear for a while, that it will go away as the sun takes its rightful place up in the sky. Will there be a chance for the rain to continue to pour, just like them to live?_ **

 

 

 

 

_Sometime in 1996,_  
“Ah, yes, probably he’s in his room. Wait here. I’ll get him for you.”   
  
“Arigatou okaa-san…”  
  
The mother smiles to the little boy who have just rang the doorbell of their house. She closes the door for a while and heads to the 2 nd floor of their house where her son’s room is located.   
  
“Son?”   
  
But there isn’t a reply. Her heart throbs with worry remembering that her son hasn’t left his room yet. She is sure he is still there but why isn’t he replying.  
  
“Son.” she calls again but there isn’t a reply until she hears noises from her son’s room, making her to run for it. Upon reaching it, she could see a white light coming from the little opening of the door. She opens it wide.  
  
“Son, are you-“  
  
Her sentence is cut by her own gasp after seeing her son…  
  
  
_5 years later,_  
“I’m not yet done talking to you! Yah!” A father roars, storming to grab his son who is running away but fails to do so when the son immediately locks himself inside the four walls of his room.  
  
“Yah! Open the door!” the father shouts, desperately knocking at the door of his son’s room.  
  
“I hate you appa! I hate you!” the young lad from the other side of the door shouts.  
  
“Yah! Don’t be foolish!  Open this door at once!” The father yells because his patience is at its limits. He pounds on the door and stops when he hears strange sounds coming from the other side.  
  
“What are you doing?! Open this door!” He panics, trying to open the door of his son’s room but his tries are futile. His eyes widen as he can see red lights coming from inside through the little opening below the door. He runs to grab the keys of the house and immediately runs back, trying his best to open the said door and when he does, he sees a nostalgic sight once again.  
  
  
_(Another) 5 years later,_  
“His condition is getting worse. I don’t know how much long will he hold. I’m so sorry. For now, all we can do is stay with him until the end.” The doctor said to the wife that is held by the eldest of her two sons. The youngest son on the other hand is shocked.  
  
“Appa…” the youngest son mumbles. Hearing her mother who finally wails to his older brother, the other son can no longer hold his own tears.  
  
He runs outside to hide it. He mustn’t cry now. He must be strong for his mother and older brother. He finally gives up upon reaching a deserted park. He kneels down, hugging his self as he cries his heart out knowing no one is around.   
  
He can feel his heart, throbbing with pain, calling and pleading for his father not to go and leave them.  
  
And then unknown to him a bluish aura emerges from him. And then moments later, he passes out.  
  
But there is someone else in that area, a guy has seen the entire thing that has happened. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Where’s the curry powder?” says a male as he rampages through the cupboards in the kitchen.  
  
“Didn’t you just put it a while ago in the curry Nino hyung?” Another man, tad taller reminds him who is cutting the other ingredients they will need for their dinner.  
  
“Just added it but I needed more, Jae. It still doesn’t taste quite right yet.” Nino replies looking for some more by the cupboards and then when finally finds what he needs. “Ah, here it is.” Nino smiles at it.  
  
“You’re making it too perfect hyung, Ohno hyung and Yunho will get bloated again eating too much of your curry.” Jaejoong chuckles after putting the ingredients he has cut in the curry they are making. And then a second thought comes to his mind, “Well, thinking again, everyone will get bloated with your curry hyung…”  
  
“Our curry…” Nino corrects him and walks beside Jaejoong to simmer the food. He adds, “Anyways, it would do all good since they are too skinny…”and then a grin plays in his lips and he states, “except for Yunho I guess.”   
  
Jaejoong laughs at his hyung’s statement and then asks, “By the way, where is Sato hyung? He didn’t have schedule for today right?” Jaejoong wonders. He remembers that the oldest out of their group of friends is supposed to be with them since afternoon and maybe even has helped in the shop.  
  
“He has and it’s fishing…” Nino replies, nonchalant and then shrugs.   
  
“Ah, that’s why Sato hyung is dark again.”   
  
“Well, that didn’t really stop him.” Nino scoffs his answer before tasting the curry. Knowing Ohno, Nino doesn’t bother anymore to remind the older one since it will probably just go through one ear and out through the other ear. He knows Ohno’s stubbornness will kick in than what people will expect when it comes to fishing. Nino doesn’t understand that though since just thinking about the sea makes him sick. He shakes his head and put a little more salt before tasting it again. “Yeap! I finally got the taste.” He chirps when he has gotten the taste he knows the others will love.   
  
“Ah, then I better arrange our table.” Jaejoong says after making an okay sign to Nino which the latter replied with a two-finger salute. He gets the plates and walks out of the kitchen.   
  
When Nino is finally alone again to fix some mess, his phone buzzes in the counter. He wipes his hands in the apron he is wearing before getting his phone and sees the message.  
  
**From:**  Oh-chan  
**Subject:**  Maguro Saikou!  
**Message:**  
                     _I caught a tuna. Let’s make tuna curry next time. Be there in 20 mins._  
  
  
  
Nino can’t help but to chuckle and mutter a small ‘baka' with fondness glittering his eyes.   
  
  
  
  
  
On the other hand, Jaejoong is already fixing the table at the corner of the café when the bell of the door chimes, indicating a new comer that is probably another customer. He is going to greet the customer but stops mid-way after finding out who is it.  
  
“Oh, it’s just you.”  
  
“That’s mean, Jae.” The newcomer with sun-kissed skin, taller figure and wearing a business suit, say with a pout as he make his way towards where Jaejoong is, of course not forgetting to greet the workers present in the cafe.  
  
“You’re quite early for the first time Jung Yunho.” Jaejoong teases when Yunho settled in their usual table to where Jaejoong is fixing the set.  
  
“Yah! It isn’t like I’m always late you know.” Yunho retorts but Jaejoong just shrugs while concentrating in fixing the table.  
  
“Ah! I’m hungry.” Yunho whines like a six-year old kid and Jaejoong can only shake his head. When Yunho’s words suddenly sinks into him, he glares at the said male.  
  
  
“Jung Yunho! Don’t tell me you didn’t eat again your lunch!” Jaejoong almost shouts and it makes Yunho to sweat with nervousness.   
  
“I- I…” Yunho has started but Jaejoong’s glare is burning holes in him.  Jaejoong may have a smaller frame but like Nino, he can land good hits too.  
  
“Well?”  
  
“I ate it, Jae.” Yunho finally answers but Jaejoong isn’t convinced with how his glare doesn’t falter. Yunho sighs. “Okay, I only ate half of it.” Yunho admits because he suddenly has an appointment and he really asks that appointment to cut in his lunch break so just he can come here earlier or else Jaejoong will create a fit about it too. He closes his eyes to wait for Jaejoong to lash out. But none came except a sigh.  
  
“Well, at least you did eat something.” Jaejoong pouts and Yunho is glad that Jaejoong isn’t that mad. Maybe his plan has worked even just a little.   
  
Jaejoong lets it go because Yunho is stubborn. It can’t really be help and so he is just thankful the latter did ate. He walks towards the kitchen to get more utensils, not before instructing the other, “Call Hyukkie and ask him where he is.”  
  
Yunho gapes a good minute at Jaejoong’s retreating figure, seeing how he has given a smile first to some group of high school students in the table near the kitchen door after asking them if they need anything and when the group answers a no, Jaejoong continues inside the kitchen. Yunho hears giggles afterwards, making him to smirk at how those girls flail. It isn’t really a wonder how people will flock at their café, especially of high school and middle school students alike. The fact that Jaejoong will still looked dashing while only wearing white polo shirt and black slacks that is under a black apron with the café’s logo. Even with just such a modest outfit, it complements Jaejoong’s form. But he does admit, what really makes Jaejoong to look more dashing is his smile. Knowing Jaejoong for almost half of his life, Yunho is glad that he will always have the chance to see it.  _(Add also one of his favorite sides of Jaejoong, the caring one.)_  
  
  
Shaking his head, he just fishes out his phone in his pocket to oblige with Jaejoong’s request. He dials Eunhyuk’s number and rings the younger guy. After the 3 rd ring, Eunhyuk finally answers.  
  
“Yah! Where are you? You’re the only one left who’s not yet here.”  
  
  
  
  
  
Eunhyuk has just gotten out of the train station when he hears his phone has started ringing. He halts by the exit and storms to his backpack in hope to find his phone he carelessly puts in when he is in a hurry to leave the dance studio a while ago. Finally after getting it, he answers as he continues to walk his way to his destination.  
  
“Yah! Where are you? You’re the only one left who not yet here.”  
  
“I’m coming! I’m coming! I just got out of the train station. I don’t have a high class car unlike you, you know.” Eunhyuk puffs as he tries his best to squish to the crowd in the busy streets of Seoul. Holding the strap of the backpack slinging only in one of his shoulders and a hand firmly holding his phone against his ear, he tries to walk faster, even run if he can, but it seems futile with all the people also rushing to get to their ways.  
  
“That has nothing to do on arriving in time. And you better be! Or else you might miss Joonggie and Umma’s cooking as I pig it out.” Yunho pipes over the other line, excitement in his voice. Eunhyuk smirks at his friend’s childishness. Who will have the thought that the one he is talking is actually a big businessman handling one of the biggest companies in Korea. And also add the fact that they are in their late 20’s already but it seems his friend’s mind has stopped aging at 10.  
  
“And who are you calling umma?” He hears another familiar voice on the other line, curious but with authority just like a hyung he is. Definitely, it is their Nino hyung.   
  
“Definitely you Nino hyung.” Another voice supplies with a chuckle.  
  
Pak!  
  
“Ow! What’s that for?” He hears Yunho grumbling. He can imagine Yunho pouting as he massages the top of his head which definitely has been hit by Nino’s knuckle.  
  
Eunhyuk laughs at the commotion over the other line; earning him inquiring looks from the people he passes by. He quickly diminishes it by bowing his head in, mouthing apologies and continues to walk.  
  
“Don’t worry, Yunho is just kidding. Sato hyung haven’t arrived yet and won’t arrive till 20 minutes or so and I’ll definitely protect the food for you, Hyukkie.” Jaejoong explains after probably getting the phone out of the grasp of Yunho.  _(Yunho is still probably busy cradling his forehead. Nino might be shorter than any of them but he can really land big hits.)_  
  
  
“I’ll be there in 5 minutes. See you!” Eunhyuk says before hanging up so he can concentrate on getting his butt in there. He halts when the road that he will cross has given a go signal to the cars passing by and a stop to the pedestrians. He looks up, gazing at the night sky. With the undying lights from the buildings that have occupied the city of Seoul, you can hardly see any stars. Maybe aside from the moving one which isn’t really a star but rather it’s a plane.  
  
“A plane huh?” He whispers with a bitter smile.  


 

  
\---------------------------------------  


 

  
Somewhere around Seoul,  
  
A man wearing business attire who has gotten out of a tall building looks up in the sky out of curiosity. Definitely, the sky is different from the one he is used to seeing in Seattle but it feels better to be back at his homeland.  
  
“Mr. Lee Donghae?” a voice calls him.  
  
The said male turns around and smiles finding another male similar his age.  
  
“Should we settle where you’ll stay temporarily until you find an apartment?”    
  
“Yes, thank you.” Donghae replies, letting the other to lead him to the car. He settles in the passenger’s seat as the other goes to the driver’s seat.  
  
“So any place you prefer, Mr. Lee?”   
  
“Please Sungmin-sshi… quit the formalities. Donghae is just fine.” Donghae urges his companion.  
  
Sungmin is the first one to be introduced to him when he first landed in Seoul a couple of hours ago. It figures since he is now the development branch manager, Sungmin is his assistant manager. Their ages don’t go that far from each other learning that Sungmin is a couple months older than he is, and he should call him hyung.  
  
“But you’re my boss.” Sungmin reasons with a playful glint and Donghae makes a face. He doesn’t really care if he has superiority than the older male, he just wants a friendly smile and Sungmin has given him that the whole day. Other staffs in his department have given him a watchful eye, a raised of an eyebrow, and a courteous nod. Maybe because he is mostly younger than them that they loathe him, and everyone there is almost 10 years older than he is.  _(Well except for Sungmin.)_  Well, he is a branch manager in a young age, so there are possibly high expectations to him to be able to get that high position at a young age.  
  
“Please, don’t you start Sungmin hyung~” Donghae says and Sungmin chuckles at Donghae’s sudden familiarity but doesn’t really hate it. It feels good to have a dongsaeng around.  
  
“Arasso, Arasso~ Dong.Hae…” Sungmin says as he emphasizes every syllable of his companion’s name.   
  
When both of them have buckled up, Sungmin asks again, “So should we settle you first?”  
  
Donghae is about to answer but his sentence are cut through the beginning when his stomach has spoken for him.   
  
GROWL!  
  
“I guess we should head first to a restaurant and see what you have been missing when you were staying at Seattle.” Sungmin smiles and Donghae is grateful to have a companion. He doesn’t really want to go alone tonight right when he just got back.  


  
  
\------------------------------  


 

  
“I finally made it!” Eunhyuk sighs in contentment after finally reaching his destination. As usual, the café is busy with customers here and there with ages ranging from group of middle school friends trying out milkshakes to families enjoying their time with their love ones, and even business men (or in some cases also businesswomen) having discussions over cups of coffee. Despite the whole environment, Eunhyuk’s eyes immediately go to their usual corner but he finds it empty.  
  
“Eh?”  
  
  
“What took you so long?”  
  
Eunhyuk looks to his right where the voice comes from. Jaejoong stands there with one hand in his waist while the other gripping the tray he has been using to deliver orders just like now.  
  
“Yeah, Sato hyung even arrived here first even though you said to Jae that you’ll be arriving in 5 minutes and not half an hour.” Yunho, who is still wearing his suit with loose tie, adds as he puts an arm around Eunhyuk’s shoulder.  
  
“Sorry, couldn’t miss this.” Eunhyuk grins sheepishly, raising the box of cream puffs he has bought along the way. Definitely, everyone will forgive him of his tardiness and with how Yunho’s eyes widens as his mouth gapes open staring at the thing he is holding, his theory is proven right.  
  
“Oh, there you are. Come on, bring the drooling big bear and let’s eat.”   
  
Eunhyuk manages to get out of Yunho’s grasp for the latter seems to be in dazed with the yummy desert and looks at their Nino hyung who has another dish at hand.   
  
“Yay! You cooked chicken curry!” Eunhyuk cheers as he goes to their usual table in the corner with Yunho at tail, noticing the dishes that have laid in it. Jaejoong has gone first to the counter to distribute back the tray before joining them.  
  
“I must say hyung. I think you overdid yourself tonight.” Jaejoong says, eyeing all the dishes in their table. There is a chicken curry, packed with crunchy vegetables just like how they like it. Also, there’s miso soup, kimchi and the one Nino is holding is a plate of pork cutlet.   
  
Nino puts down the dish he is carrying to the table and then crosses his arms, “Well, it wasn’t just me who overdid it right?” Nino raises an eyebrow towards Jaejoong and points his lips towards a steaming kimchi jiggae that is even decorated by its cooker. Jaejoong just shrugs with a grin.  
  
“You two do realize that this is a café and not a restaurant right?” Yunho agrees after sitting at his place.  
  
“You’re complaining? Then say goodbye to your second serving.” Nino smirks as he undoes the tie of the apron he still has on.  
  
“I’m kidding hyung. I’m kidding.” Yunho gulps before raising both his hands to emphasize his submission. Eunhyuk and Jaejoong snickers beside Nino, earning Yunho’s defeated pout.   
  
Jaejoong then leans towards Eunhyuk, whispering, “I think because Yunho is spending too much time with Changmin-sshi, he is also becoming a food monster.”   
  
Eunhyuk raises an eyebrow, trying to recall where the name has come from and Jaejoong who is seeing him clueless finally adds, “You know, the tall guy Yunho brought one time who eats a lot.”  
  
Eunhyuk’s eyes widen in recognition, his lips forming an O-shape remembering one time when Yunho has introduce to them one time his trusted subordinate. Although this is a café for milkshakes, coffee and pastry, Changmin is able to eat lunch with them. He and Jaejoong is in the café to help and since Jaejoong has brought food for lunch, Yunho and his friend has come to eat with them and that’s how they have met Changmin and his big appetite. Speaking of appetites and food, Eunhyuk then remembers the box of cream puffs in his hand that is needed to be put in a plate.        
  
“I’ll just transfer this hyung in the plate.” Eunhyuk excuses his self towards the kitchen to get a plate for their dessert. But before entering the said room, Eunhyuk looks back and stares at his group of friends still bickering even with small things. All of them go beyond college that even if they do belong to different departments, they end up being friends.  
  
The tallest of them all is Jung Yunho, the sole heir of the big Jung Conglomerate that handles not just business for enterprises but also transportation. At first, people may see him as goofball but when it comes to his profession, no one can deny that Yunho is the king of the game in that field despite at young age of 27 and that dims him worthy to inherit his father’s business not just because he is the only son. But on the side note, the father and the son’s relationship aren’t for the better but for the worst as he has observed.   
  
Kim Jaejoong who seems to be working at the cafe as a waiter is actually a full time photographer for magazines and advertisements. Despite this, he will never miss the chance to help in the café if he has his free time, either working as the waiter, a barista and occasional pastry chef. But on the other side, he also works as a part-time composer and lyricist. It is no wonder how Jaejoong and their second to the eldest hyung in the group, Nino, can do wonders when together either in the kitchen or in the music room.  
  
Ninomiya Kazunari, or people call him often Nino, is a composer and director. He works for stage productions either directing for stage plays or composing songs for musicals and some record companies (he has worked some songs with Jaejoong). But because of his thrifty personality, he is also in charge of their little café’s management together with Yunho. Aside from that, he is also a good cook (that won’t actually cook unless he needs to do so or Jaejoong has asked him to cook with him.) He is a student exchange from Japan on Eunhyuk’s, Jaejoong’s and Yunho’s freshman year that after he has graduated, he has decided to settle in Korea for now.  
  
“Oh, Hyukkie, everyone’s there already.” Eunhyuk’s reverie is cut when he hear someone’s greeting as he opens the kitchen’s door. He smiles and shows the purpose of coming to the kitchen.  
  
“Yeah, I’m just going to transfer this in a plate so we could eat it for dessert, Hyung.”   
  
“Okay, better hurry or Yunho might eat your portion.” Ohno smiles at him, nodding his head towards their group’s table’s direction, probably pointing at Yunho.   
  
Eunhyuk chuckles and answers, “Nah, I don’t think Nino hyung would be allowing that.”   
  
Ohno lets out a small laugh and passes by Eunhyuk to go to their table not before patting the latter’s shoulder.   
  
That person is the oldest of them all, Ohno Satoshi, an actor in stage plays and also an artist. He also has started working as a choreographer for musicals. He is quite a timid person who loves to go fishing. Ohno is also an exchange student together with Nino almost 8 years ago while accepting scholarship in the Department of Arts of Seoul University. Because of great praises and recommendations, he has landed quite a lot of wonderful roles just after he has graduated. He is also able open an art exhibit not long ago displaying his great skills in drawing and sculpting. Like Nino, he has decided to settle in Korea for now.   
  
He, Lee Hyukjae, or preferred to be called Eunhyuk, on the other hand is also choreographer but also a back-up dancer. His choreography houses for record labels who have asked for his service for performances or music videos. Most of the time, he has worked as a dance instructor for students specializing hip-hop and funk dances in Seoul Arts Academy. Just like Jaejoong, he has also helped serving in the café.  
  
Eunhyuk smiles how everything went by as the years have passed. At first it has been chaos, with how Jaejoong has been afraid of Nino’s edgy demeanor before they are able to compose a song together, how Yunho has tried to persuade the silent Ohno to dance with them in a university festival presentation, or how he is quite uncomfortable with Jaejoong’s perfectionist attitude before for their project. But nevertheless, he is thankful to have them as friends. Too bad the one who has introduced him to them isn’t with them now.  
  
“Tsk.” He clicks his tongue. He will always hate the fact that person still manages to occupy his mind when clearly that person wanted him out of his life.  _(Well, it’s actually them out of his life since none of his friends has also a contact to ‘that person’)_  There is no use in relieving the past, those moments he has known isn’t really important for the other. But then, he knows he can’t really help it. He can still remember that time when he has met all of them. He is just a transferee in the second semester of his freshmen year.   
  
  
  
  
  
One lunch break; he is dragged by  _that person_  towards a certain table packed with four other people.  
  
“Oh, you must be 'Hyukkie' this fish had been talking about.”   
  
It’s the first greeting Yunho has given him back then when they have arrived at the table. A silent inquiring look is given to him by Nino, eyeing him straight to his eyes and Eunhyuk can feel the chills in it, making him more nervous. It’s like Nino is stripping him stark naked right that moment with his eyes.  _(Not in that creepy way. Or slightly? Maybe?)_  
  
“Ah! Now I remember! You’re my project partner in Psychology!” Jaejoong breaks the silence between all of them as the said male remembers where he has seen the new comer. Eunhyuk can’t help but to gulp down, remembering Jaejoong’s meticulous attitude when they just started their psychology project for this term.  
  
“Oh, you must suffering from his demanding disorder. I must say sorry on his behalf.” Yunho pipes in and Jaejoong gives a growl, “OI!” before landing a hit at Yunho’s arm. Their antics earns a smirk from Nino and then a laugh not just from Eunhyuk but also by Ohno that time who is silently sitting beside Nino and observing them.  
  
“See, I told you, you’ll like them.”   
  
Eunhyuk looks at his side, smiling at the man that has given him the chance to meet these wonderful people to him. He is thankful yet at the same time, he really hates him.  
  
…hate him, for leaving them…   
  
…for leaving  _him_.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“You did say you’ll just transfer the cream puffs to a plate. The last time I check, it’ll only take a minute, not an hour.”  
  
Eunhyuk snaps from his trance and glances back towards his right. There, leaning his side on the counter is Nino with crossed-arms above his chest. When he has Eunhyuk’s attention, he just shook his head and gets a plate in a cupboard and then gives it to Eunhyuk and helps him in arranging the sweet treats.  
  
“Sorry, I was spacing out.” Eunhyuk says apologetic and Nino replies it with a shake in his head. It is seconds later when Nino takes a deep breath and then lets it out, facing the younger man.  
  
“It’s been almost five years Hyukkie…” Nino deadpans and Eunhyuk doesn’t flinch at how straightforward Nino can be. Knowing the latter, Eunhyuk knows that Nino doesn’t go around the bush when everything is serious. It’s really like their first meeting, you’ll feel like stark naked under his eyes. It isn’t in the sense that you’re stripped out of your clothes, but rather it seems Nino can see right through you, right through your heart. And he knows the older one just want to help him in any he can.  
  
“I know onii…” Eunhyuk replies, breathing out the air he doesn’t realize he has been holding along those words. Nino doesn’t push further the matter because when Eunhyuk addresses him as ‘onii’ then it means that he is pleading. And somehow, he knows he is pleading him to stop and let him solve it on his own.     
  
“Come on… everyone is waiting.” Nino says, offering it with a smile and Eunhyuk is thankful of how understanding Nino can be. He may be snarky and quite blunt but he knows when to stop and when to push. Eunhyuk nods and follows him towards out of the kitchen and join the others.  
  
“Finally you show up! And I thought I am the only one who loves late entrances?” Yunho jokes after seeing the two back to their table since usually it is him who shows up late in their get-together-every-Friday-dinner. Everyone laughs and it eases Eunhyuk’s heart.   
  
_Why look for the past when you can always enjoy the present?_

 

 

 

 

_\------------------------------_

 

 

 

“I’m full. You overestimated me Sungmin hyung.” Donghae says in the passenger’s seat, rubbing his tummy full of Korean cuisine that he has eaten for dinner. 

  
“Hahahaha~ come on, let’s get you some coffee or tea to help in digesting.” Sungmin laughs, Donghae’s now new friend and co-worker as he settles back to Korea. Sungmin halted his car in front of a café a moment later.  
  
When Donghae gets out of the car like Sungmin has done, he can’t help but to feel nostalgic after seeing the café’s title.  
  
“Clockwork Umbrella?” Donghae gapes.  
  
Both of them where standing outside the café, eyeing the café’s sign. Sungmin ponders and then supplies, “Quite unique name to be given for a café right? But they surely do serve good drinks.” Sungmin shrugs and opens the door to get in.  
  
“Not really…” Donghae answers, his thoughts trail off with a memory.  
  
  
  
  
  
_“Men… it’s getting crowded in our usual café. Seriously, we should really build our own where we can crash every time we have get-together gatherings…”_  
  
_“Building our own café? You do realize we need a big capital for that, Yun!”_  
  
_“But Jae, we can afford it. I’m sure we’ll land good jobs after we graduate like Nino hyung and Ohno hyung.”_  
  
_“Life isn’t easy unlike for you Mr. Jung Yunho!”_  
  
_“Way to ruin the mood, Mr. Lee Donghae!”_  
  
_“Now now, Children! Quit your yapping~”_  
  
_“Yes, Mama!”_  
  
_“Hahahahaha~”_  
  
_“You two are grounded!”_  
  
_“Eh? You can’t be serious Nino hyung?”_  
  
_“Tsk~”_  
  
_“Ohno papa! Nino mama grounded us!”_  
  
_“Hahahaha~”_  
  
_“…”_  
  
_“Don’t bother to talk to him. I’m sure he is still daydreaming about the first fish he got caught in his first fishing trip just yesterday.”_  
  
_“Seriously, Ohno hyung is burned now. Didn’t he even put a sunscreen lotion?”_  
  
_“I tried to warn him Jae but he didn’t listen. He just goes on with his fishing.”_  
  
_“Aigoo~”_  
  
_“Oh, Hyukkie? Why aren’t you talking?”_  
  
_“Yeah, something wrong Hyuk?”_  
  
_“I dunno… I just felt like building a café like what Yunho suggested.”_  
  
_“For the record, I’m actually agreeing with Yunho’s idea too and it rarely happens.”_  
  
_“Nino hyung~”_  
  
_“Well, this can be arranged.”_  
  
_“Yeah, since Nino hyung is a stingy bastard, he should be the one in-charge of the shop’s financial issues.”_  
  
_“Yikes! And Nino hyung didn’t even object about Donghae’s words.”_  
  
_“What’s the matter with it Jae? I like it… except for the bastard part.”_  
  
_“Hehehe~ Sorry hyung.”_  
  
_“Hey, Aren’t we actually the one with business related courses, Fishy?”_  
  
_“Nah, I’ll let Nino hyung handle it since it’s about money. Join him if you want?”_  
  
_”…hmmm.”_  
  
_“…”_  
  
_“What the-? Look at them Donghae! Look at those eyes! They are like talking to each other with just those eyes! They are so gonna get to it!”_  
  
_“Chill Jae! Let the money maniacs handle it.”_  
  
_“And I thought it will be an endless bickering between these two if they did manage the cafe. I can’t believe they are actually agreeing when it comes to management.”_  
  
_“Well, what do you expect Hyuk? Nino hyung loves anything that has to do with money while Yunho loves everything that has to do with business. So it’s really inevitable.”_  
  
_“So, Mr. Smarty Pants, what do you actually suggest we serve? The venue? The pastry and stuffs?”_  
  
_“Whoa! Hold it hyung! Of course we need to plan it out plus I think it’s on Donghae’s department. You are holding entrepreneurship anyways.”_  
  
_“Huh? Me?”_  
  
_“Yes, You!”_  
  
_“Well, Aside from stinginess, Nino hyung could also be the pastry chef with Jaejoong. And then me and Hyukkie can manage the labor thing- Wait, hold it! Are we serious about building the café?”_  
  
_“You are so slow Mr. Lee Donghae.”_  
  
_“What?! Nino hyung, for real?”_  
  
_“Why? You want to back out, Fishy?”_  
  
_“See, I told you these two are gonna get to it!”_  
  
_“Whoa! Okay! Okay! But hey, we can’t just plan it out in one sitting only right?”_  
  
_“And where do you want to start then, Hae?”_  
  
_“Well… I actually don’t know.”_  
  
_“How about actually naming the café?”_  
  
_“But-… Oh.”_  
  
_“That’s true…”_  
  
_“…”_  
  
_“…”_  
  
_“…”_  
  
_“Full House?”_  
  
_“This isn’t a drama, Hae…”_  
  
_“Mirotic?”_  
  
_“Not building a bar, Jae…”_  
  
_“Wish?”_  
  
_“Sorry Hyuk, but that’s quite childish.”_  
  
_“Mr. Simple’s Cafe?”_  
  
_“Eck!”_  
  
_“Tri-Angle?”_  
  
_“Huh?”_  
  
_“Clockwork Um…brella?”_  
  
_“…”_  
  
_“…”_  
  
_“…”_  
  
_“What? I can’t hear any better suggestion with a punch aside from that.”_  
  
_“But it kinda sounds weird, Nino hyung.”_  
  
_“I like it.”_  
  
_“…”_  
  
_“…”_  
  
_“…”_  
  
_“…”_  
  
_“…”_  
  
_“I like Clockwork Umbrella.”_  
  
_“Whoa! Ohno hyung actually just talked now!_  
  
_“Okay, I am so loving Clockwork Umbrella if it will make Ohno hyung talk.”_  
  
_“Hahahahahaha~”_  
  
_“I honestly think it’s a weird name but in a good way. Quite mysterious if you think?”_  
  
_“So, are we set to name it Clockwork Umbrella?”_  
  
_“Yeah!”_  
  
_“Then cheers for Clockwork Umbrella!”_  
  
_“Cheers!”_  
  
_Clank!_  
  
  
  
  
  
It is a vague memory but nevertheless that conversation has left a mark on his memory lane. It shows the deepness of their friendship that four years has nourished even with how the most unlikely guys become one group. He just wonders if any of his friends remember him as he perfectly remembers each one of them. It has been almost 5 years since he has left the country without a trace  _(well, except for his family)_ , cutting ties with every one of them and if he ever crosses paths with one of them, surely he’ll get ignore. He thinks it is for the better. There isn’t really any time left and he doesn’t want to see the ones he cares about to suffer, especially  _him_. He also hates saying goodbye. Maybe that’s why right after their graduation; he just has chosen to disappear. Though he has heard from her mother how everyone is looking for him and he is really grateful and touched but it hurts. He knows how it feels and he wants to spare them that hurt. Thankfully, Seoul is a big city; it is most unlikely to cross paths with him when their interests are different. There’s no use relieving the past now, when he is the one who has ruined it.  
  
He shakes his head, a bitter smile in his lips and follows Sungmin inside, going straight to the counter to place their orders. They are greeted by the barista, and have asked for their orders.  
  
Donghae hesitates, everything seems familiar. He wonders if he has made the right choice of coming here when clearly it reminds him of everything.  
  
“So, what will you get Donghae?” Sungmin asks and it just goes through Donghae’s ear to another. He feels his heartbeat increasing, as his eyes widening. Everything seems too familiar, the choices of beverages, the designs that seems to be upgraded from the playful choices of graphics before.   
  
“Donghae?”   
  
Donghae looks to his right after hearing his name in almost a whisper and he knew it’s from a very familiar voice.  
  
But what he isn’t expecting next is what will come next of it…  
  
Thug!  
  
Maybe Seoul isn’t that big after all…  
  
And now, he finds himself in the floor, his right hand cradling his jaw, his other hand steadying himself up. He eyes the slamming glass door where a certain guy has run off. 

  
  
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